Please download and enjoy The Monkey’s Banana, which has been “published” by Also-Ran. What is The Monkey’s Banana, anyway? It’s an “eBook” comprised of all the writing young Joseph Larkin managed to shit out before writing and self-publishing The Slippery Slope, his so-called “magnum opus” (is that Latin for “huge shameful failure”?). The eBook is one hundred and four pages long, so you should probably print it out at work for free... Young Joseph had some trouble with the fonts and formatting, but hopefully you’ll still be able to read this goddamned thing should you choose to download it. Thanks.

To celebrate and promote the “publication” of his first eBook, The Monkey’s Banana, Joseph Larkin recently participated in a live chat on AOL—the transcript of this historic Internet event has been preserved below for your amusement. Please enjoy the transcript and remember: only a dope would use dope.

CHATMSTR: Ladies and gentlemen, will you please welcome our guest tonight—two-time Golden Gloves champion Joseph Larkin!
JOSEPH: Hullo!
JENNAKAT: HI JOSEPH!
JOSEPH: Hi, JennaKat. Please stop screaming—you haven’t even seen me naked yet!
MRBUNGHOLE: LOL!!!11
JENNAKAT: OMG
CHATMSTR: Does anyone out there have a question for our guest?
L0RD0fTHER1NGS: m/47/OH
L0RD0fTHER1NGS: R U up 4 sum cyberlovin!!!?? ;)
CHATMSTR: Joseph, L0RD0fTHER1NGS would like to know if you are in the mood for some cyber-intercourse.
JOSPEH: I am ALWAYS up for some cyber-loving, L0rd0fther1ngs—just name the time and place, faggot!
BOBOFETT has entered the chatroom
JENNAKAT: (((HUGS TO BOBOFETT)))!!!
BOBOFETT has left the chatroom
BOBOFETT has entered the chatroom
JENNAKAT: bbl
JENNAKAT has left the chatroom
CHATMSTR: Any other questions? C’mon, people—Joseph is a busy man!
JOSEPH: That’s a goddamned lie and you know it! Why must you turn this chatroom into a house of lies?!
311FAN#311: Type 311 if you like 311!!!111
MRBUNGHOLE: 3!!
CHATMSTR: 311
BOBOFETT has left the chatroom
JOSEPH: Fuck this shit, I’m out.
JOSEPH has left the chatroom

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