Found!

Sun Sep 3 22:40:56 2000


I was just thinking about the time a few years back when television's Gordon Jump and I were stuck on an escalator together. That guy shrieked like a little girl until security came and helped us (we were at a mall). It was a little embarrassing...and not nearly as cool as hanging out with ETHAN HAWKE!



I think Gordon was "a little tight" himself that day, if you know what I mean.

jimmypercey
I was up in georgetown
Mon Sep 4 23:17:57 2000


with ethan hawke, he was chasing after some thai waitress who'd caught his fancy a few months before. We stopped by the barnes and noble with no firm plan in mind, perhaps we would buy a refreshing fruit beverage, or then again we might flip pointlessly through the newest copy of mojo, we just weren't sure. We ambled about and then, as we cast a cynical glance about the yuppie infested store, who did we see but good old thurston moore of sonic youth fame.
We waited by the exit. He was in line making some sort of frivilous purchase; it's a well known fact that thurston moore doesn't read. Then he came buy, i stopped him and really casually said, "i've seen you before, don't you work at artist's books in Manhattan."
He seemed amused by the none too subtle reference, and proceded to talk to us with a very familliar aire. I asked him why they were down here in dc. He told me they were opening for pearl jam. Ethan and i gave him some good natured ribbing about that. Then I talked about the last show I'd seen, which was in dc back in june. Ethan rather disparagingly mentioned that they hadn't played teenage riot the night we attended. Thurston happily responded,"well, you can't do it every night, it'd get like brushing your teeth."
I was under the impression that brushing your teeth was a good thing.

pumpkin
let me ask you a question...
Tue Sep 5 01:03:00 2000


...do you really, truly believe that you're a 19th century aristocratic British satirist?

jimmypercey
we were sitting in a quasi- teahouse in the london soho,
Wed Sep 6 18:24:13 2000


ethan in his long silk robe and me in my smoking jacket, chasing goblets of absinthe with caffery's irish ale. It was, as you can see, not much of a tea house at all. We talked nonsensically; ethan would break into that enchanting little laugh of his whenever i said something amusing. The moon swung and hung over us, full and beautiful in the blue-black night. It was at this point that the conversation took a turn twords the more serious. I don't know who brought it up, but soon enough we were ensconsed in a furious debate of the dreyful affair. Ethan, so it turned out, is a fervent anti-Dreyfusarian, a position which i found both archic and disgusting. The absinthe kicked in and I became a bit irate, calling him a hidebound conservative bastard. This threw him into a rage, but i was possesed of a horrible, animal fury to match him in all his angry glory. I tipped the table upon him, sending several mugs of ale and our glasses of absinthe down with a crash. Ethan, in an act of miraculous stregenth, lifted the table from on top of him and hurled it in my direction. He missed, of course, but the very prospect of being hit by a table annoyed me greatly. We rolled about the floor, scratching, kicking, and clawing eachother in a bloody fury.The struggle lasted for well over two hours. The sanguine scene ended with us torn up, shaken, and caked in black blood. By the time it was over we were both too exhausted to continue so no victor emerged. We showered together back in ethan's townhouse and patched things up over a dinner of Lyon chicken and champagne.


we got up early for a jaunt down to the beach
Thu Sep 7 18:09:35 2000


we met up with the bbc, a.k.a. matthew, or "mats domino" as ethan likes to call him. Beebs had his board all waxed up and ready to go; even at 5:30 in the morning that kid is prepared for a good time. We rode down there and parked my mercedes on the sand. It was time for a more natural, pure form of transportation, the surfboard. We bobbed and floated amongst the waves, riding high to the tune of a jan and dean album i had blaring on the jukebox. We were going wild. Ethan and Matthew were getting a little competetive with the surfing tricks, flipping and wizzing in great inseperable spirals of united man and board. I think they've got a bit of a rivalry going, but I love em both to death. They're really good kids through and through. As rosy dawn came up the waves that surrounded us were rendered a whole canon of breathtaking, beautiful colors. After this display we gave up surfing to stand on the beach and watch in awe. Soon this had run it's course and we headed to a local dined across the streets. We had coffee and grilled doughnuts; beebs ate at least a baker's dozen. I think ethan was trying to keep up and outeat him, but he realized he couldn't and resorted to starting a verbal spat. Ethan had changed his views on the Dreyfus affair after that unsavory scene the night before, so Matthew, formerly one of a minute minority who shared ethan's anti-dreyfuserian views, was now on the wrong side of the philiposophical fence. Ethan brought the whole thing up, and when beebs said somenthing rather stupid in a failed attempt to be clever ethan took it as the cue to begin a violent brawl. Ethan mounted the table and proceded to grab matthew by the collar of his frilly pirate shirt and spin him about his head before throwing him out of an open door into the outdoor dining area. He careened into a vacant table and knocked a tray of silverware to the floor. I ran outside to check on him. Beebs was ok, just a little shaken up.the gang was all there

Sat Sep 16 18:57:22 2000


matthew, ethan, and I were back together. We were all assembled for a slumber party at beebs's house in suburban connecticut. After a dinner of pizza and smores we all ventured up to matt's mom's room to watch Fast Times at Ridgemont High on the big screen tv. Midway through the film matthew and ethan were growing a bit restless, they were standing up and shifting about when they began some sort of wild mock bullfight, with ethan waving a scarlett pillowcase as matthew charged about like a furious bull. It was a grand spectacle. I didn't want to be left in the cold, so i joined the meelee by swinging a large, plush pillow at the both of them. The battle degenerated from a matador and bull standoff to a simple, old fashioned pillow rumble. Within half an hour we were all worn out, and we settled down to sleep.
Some hours later, Ethan and I awoke to a loud and pulsating commotion. In a few seconds i came out of my sleepy haze only to view the shocking, almost surreal scene of matthew, all decked out in his mother's merry widow, wearing leather straps and nipple clamps, gyrating and wiggling on the top of his mother's bed, while singing "I want to knoooooow my body" along with the clinic cd he had blaring on the family stereo. Before i could comment on the bizzare goings on, the music was abruptly cut off. Matthew turned about only to see his mother standing sternly in the hall way.
She ranted and screamed "What in the name of the holy father are you doing, i leave you home alone for two days and what do i get, i'll tell you what i get, the sight of my son dancing around my room in my lingerie, holding some sort of wild immoral romp! Is this what i deserve matthew? What kind of a son are you? "
Old Beebs stammered and stuttered, softly injecting a weak "i'm sorry mom, I was just playing around. Do you have to embarass me in front of my friends."
"oh, do you mean like you've embarrased me, yourseld, and the entire family. Is that what you're reffering to matthew? I'll tell you this right now, there'll be no more art school in new york for you anymore, at least not on you're mother's nickle. You're going to transfer to a community college right here in connecticut and major in business. I'm going to keep a tight watch on you from here on out."
Beebs was growing red and looking furious. It was the cumalitive effect of shame and dismay at the thought of the punishment his mother was levying. At this point he exploded, the wall of passive, supine patheticness came crashing down and beebs let out with a loud, shrill, glass shattering "STEP OFF MOM! I'm tired of you trying to controll me. I'm my own man, I'm the BBC!"
At this point ethan and i slunk quietly off. It looked as if matthew and his mom had their own problems to deal with.
jimmy percey
ralph nader came down
Tue Sep 19 21:40:31 2000


to the family compound on north carolina's eastern shore where ethan and i were relaxing after the whole beeb's mom/nipple clamp debacle. Etho and I were still fairly tense, but Ralph began to calm us down with his soothing voice and vast knowledge of facts and figures. It was like majic, I'd be pacing around in a cold sweat, worrying that matthews mom was going to limit the scope of his vast creativity, when Ralph would cooly inject "you know, with a 1/4 percent tax on stock transactions, we could afford socialized insurance and a free surfboard for everyone." Good god that ralph could surf! He and ethan would get up at six and ride that wild morning surf for hours as i made pumpkin pancakes for breakfast and took a nude dip in the jacuzzi. I'd been lulled into a life of complacency. Like odysseus under the spell of calypso,I'd forgotten the real world troubles of the bbc. That was all to change. In the midst of breakfast, as ralph was going off on some mad quadrant about how we could afford a free lunch AND 4-track for every child in the land if we were only to enforce the maximum wage. That's when I broke out of the surfing siren spell and thought of poor beebs in the clutches of his maximum wage earning mom. We hopped in the benz and headed up the coast. Within two hours we were at a waffle house in Annapolis, Maryland...

jimmy percey
As we left the waffle house
Thu Sep 21 17:51:08 2000


ralph told ethan and I to "lock up the benz, and follow me." We walked into a hollow in the woods.He removed a camoflauge canopy to reveal a flashy vintage sports car, in bright red of course. He handed out avaitor goggles as we hopped in. He sped out twoards the highway, doing a cool ninety through the waffle house parking lot. As we reached the highway Ralph announced, in his best oratory tone, "this is a Corverre, one of the very few of it's kind still in operation. It's unsafe at any speed, so we'll just drive it at maximum speed." At this point the speedometer was indicating 185, the end of the line. We raced up the highway, dodging HOV lane traffic all the way to suburban connecticut. We parked at the end of the cul de sac on the street with matthew's house, and drew up battle plans. Mother Perpetua was going to pay for her crimes against art. We were all set. The plan was to go in through beebs's room. We quietly prowled onto the roof by way of the poolhouse. Ethan cut the window with a dimond studded cigarette holder he happened to be carrying. This was somewhat unnecessary since the window was already slightly open, but Etho's always been one to do it in style. We hopped down into the bbc's room to find him in a rather compromising position, looking at what appeared to be some variety of internetporn. He was thrown for a bit of a spin, but soon recovered to greet us all with a smile and a knowing wink. "We're here to save you," I declared, "but the first order of business is your evil mother."
"thank god you've come to rescue me," squealed matthew, "i've been grounded to my room for a week, with nothing but the internet and my music. It's been HELL ON EARTH."
Ralph cut to the chase "where's your mom son"
"she's downstairs, on the first floor, eating foie gras and drinking beaujolais with some business friends"
"She'll be shamed before all the world" said ethan.
The three of us headed down, leaving the bbc in his room.
On the way we encountered a thin, attractive blond girl in an elaborately cooirdinated abercrombie and fitch ensemble. I assume it was his sister, christina ."Are you guys Matthew's friends?, oh wait, he doesn't have any." she said perkily.
Ethan just hit her; he wound up like he was throwing a pitch and sent her hurling down a flight of spiral stairs.
We continued on our way, not to be deterred from the matter at hand. We slunk into the foyer and peered into the leisure room/ cocktail lounge where matthew's mom was conversing with some business types. Ralph knew what to do, he pulled a lasso out from his conservative jacket and sent it hurling at mrs. perpetua. Before she knew what hit her we had her tied and secured in a large plastic sack. Ethan hauled her up to beebs's room, where old mats domino was already decked out in the merry widow, nipple clamp outfit that he wears so well. Matthew jumped in to a rousing rendition of James Brown's "Payback." We pelted Mother Perpetua with some of the many Boston Cream Pies hidden under Matthew's bed as Soul Brother #1 screamed "talking bout paybcck, huuh, REVENGE!"

jimmy percey
we were a worn out bunch,
Mon Sep 25 16:41:50 2000


ethan, james and i. What we needed more than anything else were the therapeutic joys of a nineteenth century spa. We found just the place in the high hills, or more rightly peaks, of the Addirondacks. Joyce drove us in my Mercedes. Once in the mountains, we managed to secure an opulent cabin at a quasi-health resort near the cloud shrouded summit of one of the lesser mountains. It was a grand and relaxing time. After a week of local honey and yougurt baths administered by a team of broad shouldered Hessians we were invigorated anew and ready to take a more active role in our own amusments. Ethan and Joyce made some calls and assembled a none too small cast of friends to help us put on a full scale production of Gothe's Faust II. All went well, our friends were, of course, quite well versed in Gothe and able to put on the play with under a day's worth of notice.
There was a great group assembled on stage for the pagan paradiso scene ( on the field o'elysia's village green).
Actors were dancing, cavorting, and reveling in the chaos. In the midst of this melee, incorrigible Ethan decided to slip through the gyrating ranks and pilfer James' Joyce's glasses. Joyce went into a fit of black despair and drank himself to death, mimicking the behavior of Dylan Thomas after a production of Les Mis earlier in the season

jimmy percey
sorry chaps, i've been away
Thu Nov 2 17:14:39 2000


After st. francis, using a cryptic italian koan, exhorted ethan and i to head to sri lanka, it seemed only natural that we invide our sometime friend and always resident mongoose expert, the bbc. We called him on the phone and he was more than willing to go. It seems that beebs is a bit of a melancholy spirit and, owing to said temprement, doesn't have a terrible amount of things to do. He came prepared, wearing a turban and 7 veils of finest silk stitched and patched all about his shall we say, statuesque, frame. It was a grand time as we headed to that island so fondly termed the teardrop of india, all tea and imperialisim in the more chic parts of bombay. We boarded a raft down the ganges and, with the expert navigational skills of one ethan hawke, we found our way to old ceylon. the island flowed and writhed with cobras
quite apparently it was our task, as bequeathed by good francis,
to drive them out
on an ind'n elephant's back
we arose in triumph
celebrating our bold victory over the snakes
to the fawning masses beebs ironically shouted "let them eat cake"

CUT!!