Subj: from you to me, from me to you
Date: 9/23/00 12:57:15 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: XXXXXXXX@hotmail.com
sue.
i made a mad dash to the post office just thirty minutes ago, so that i
could get your package in the hands of horses and carriers before the
weekend set in.
and i made it, just as they were flipping the "closed/open" sign.
"i am mailing this to sue. make sure it gets to her quick!"
i drive back. slow. listening to the new godspeed.
and what do i find on my newly wonderful doorstep?
but a package from you!
with your beautiful handwriting that drives me so wild.
i open it slowly as well (godspeed still careening through my empty
parts).
......
as if two thousand stars collide in unison to produce light. and we are the result.
your note has me shaking.
my hands are shaking....
and i saw sunflowers and car crashes and white girls and graves and
white
boys and covered feet through your fucking amazing eyes.
you move me, past movement.
"thanks for teaching me to let go"
it is I, i i i, who should be saying "forever thanks sue" so we will say "thanks" to each other, and declare our brilliant madness as truth!!!
i just want you to know how amazing i feel right now because of you.
and then the fabulouso dirty three poster.
have i told you that those three artists basically hold in their notes
and
crashes all of my belief in the art of the world??? they do. i
immediately wanted to buy a plane ticket to see the show. i should!
i proclaim that there is no better! no other! i will go out with this and
light the skies!
thank you dear.
thank you.
i could have just been any boy. drifting through some modern world, thrown over by sound waves and antennas. no. sue, therefore i am.
and when you told me last night that you had a date, my stomach went "swoosh, slurp, slosh" and i lost my words. it was so cute! how i envy that boy. i should buy him a coke. i didn't even know myself that i was that gone.....quite beautiful i must say. (i am a good kid, so you won't need to worry about me. i guess i am used to being in love with the carrie brownstein's of the world, and will always be. the oh so beautiful, and oh so beyond my reach). !!!!!!!!! smile!
love always,
brian.
Subj: i forgot the best part!
Date: 9/23/00 1:44:36 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: poor poor girl@hotmail.com
ah....
when i opened up your package, the flowers fell out first. they were
mostly
intact, but a lot of tiny flowers had fallen off. they spilt all over
my
white sheets.
sue, it was the finest sight i have seen in months!
it just looked so pretty and...gentle.
i scooped them all up in my hand and found a glass of water that was
sitting
nearby.
i dropped them in the water....
small blue wildflowers silently floating in clear water.
oh so beautiful.
thanks dear.
i am putting the still standing flowers on my wall, right beside your sunflower picture
(in the last week, we each sent each other a picture of sunflowers, and worked on the lady manequin pictures.....how neat-o is that??)
is that how "manequin" is spelled? i never had to write it down before....!
take care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Subj: ha!!!! take this lady!
Date: 9/25/00 9:42:36 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: oh, how I pity you, girl@hotmail.com
how are you lady sue???
i have a friend who wants to say hi!
zzzzz hoist. love. talice.
ta da!
that was from the finest lady in this town. she is sitting beside me, staring at a screen, wearing a white blouse and a navy blue and white polka-dot skirt. wowzer!!!
did you take any pictures yesterday?
i fell asleep listening to the dirty three, hoping to hear your voice.
monica wrote me. she is leaving for new york on friday. bye by monica! i am going to try and see her before she leaves. i wonder...
p.s. this is the second time that i am writing this, because i think that the first one got zapped before it made it to you. so if you get this twice, i apologize.
it is nice here today. overcast and windy. this morning, i walked through parking lots listening to godspeed, and watched a bird arc and zoom against a backdrop of urban boxes and falling signs. quite beautiful.
sue.
i want to dissapear with you.
i want to meet you in some airport. and take your hand. i want to
dissapear with you. and see you city and your room. your hair and
arms and
body. and see what you see with your eyes. and if make it to anywhere
near
an ocean, i am going in. this body needs water.
scrambled eggs.
apple cheese.
hot dog!
i miss you!!!! we haven't talked for hours in like 3 days. ah!!!!! (smile.) please call ladybug. i will be home tonight after 10:50 or so.
love you
brian
Subj: again!
Date: 9/25/00 10:28:10 AM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: the stupidest girl in the whole wide world@hotmail.com
i keep listening to the new godspeed....
the first track is just this triumphant masterpiece...
and i keep thinking
"this is what it will feel like when we meet"!!!!!
or maybe it will be beautiful and quiet like the dirty three.
either way! beautiful!!!
AND!!!
i am cuckoo!!!
i would like to fly back up and see pinback and the dirty three. can i
do
this??
i am going to type you a long letter tonight.
i hope you call!
i have so much to say...but i really want to listen to YOU.
off to class....
doh!
i am trying to find a way to send you a singing telegram!
Subj: the best day yet!
Date: 9/26/00 3:38:06 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: misguided soul@hotmail.com
sue!
it is cold here today!
i got to wear a coat!
i got to wear a coat, walk to the post office, and carry your letter in
my
coat pocket!!!
how cool is that???
plus, my car is broke, so i will be able to walk everywhere for a
while!
i felt so good....i feel so good.
rob and i are driving tomorrow to go see yo la tengo.
and tonight, i am going with shelly, to go surprise kate and look at
her new
apartement (two nice, cute girls who i am becoming friends with...)
there is just so much hope that runs through my head and body now. and
cold
weather only brightens me. this is life!!!!!
i wonder what you look like in your coats?
do you have cool mittens?
i have a nice pair of navy blue ones that fit perfectly.
is it cold where you are??
how is the toy store?
mod boy?
max?
typewriter?
bike?
hair?
head?
heart?
triangle!
if you were here right now, i would make you laugh and be as goofy as possible!!!
i wore a white t shirt beneath my blue coat....as close as i will ever get to feeling as sexy as jeff buckley.
how did it turn out last night with you and tim?
there was a real nice chap named tim who was sleater-kinney's t-shirt
seller
on their 1997 tour. how about that??? is his name tim holman???? if
so, we
like the same guy!!!!
i just ate steaming rice and a hot baked potato is waiting...
wow! i get to see ira, georgia, and james in one day. i am all about the excitement!
well, i must confess that i cannot stop thinking about the visit. 8
days to
wait!!!!!!!!!!
are you dying to see me? i am dying to see you!
please call if you have the time....i miss you terribly so!!!!!!
hope you are very well,
love
brian
From: brian smith
To: XXXXX@lsu.edu
Subject: first paper comments hello.
i just read the comments that you posted regarding the
first papers that the class turned in...
the main thing that i drew from your comments was that
any points that we try to make when writing, we must
be able to back up. that we can't just say "i agree
with so and so..." simply to agree. and that since
we are writing about such grandoise ideas, we really
need to try and be as precise as possible with our
ideas.
???
ok.
From: "Patrick McGee"
This is fine, though the word is "grandiose."
Pat McGee
[The following is a fake email I made up and mailed
to comrades a while back in
tribute to Brian Thomas.]
On Fri, 25 Aug 2000, jl wrote:
> lightning dances and thunder claps for it
> i want to learn to fuck before i
From:
"Sue"
what do you mean i might not remember...of course, silly!!! thanks so
much
for the book...the fucked up thing is: as soon as i opened the package,
nicole came home to reward me with the swatch 2000 fall/winter
catalogue...i
love coinkidinks!!!! anyhow, when you visit us in october we will add
some
style to our wrists....whaddya say? well i am the luckiest person to
have
you as my friend...thank you for caring about me...i don't know what i
did
to deserve you!!!! i hope you are doing well...i will get in touch
with you
later...lotsa love for brian. xo,
p.s. your letters blow me away...i want to use them as graffiti in
girls'
bathrooms or something...i guess what i'm trying to say is that you are
too
cool for words...one day you will be famous - well,
you already are to
me...love you...bye!
Subj: cheerio! hello you!
sunday afternoon after we both went to bed this
morning, i couldn't sleep. i listened to
a
record and then kind of dreamt while i was awake until i had to go to
work.
you kept me laughing at work too! how grand.
i am ready for you.
i wonder how you are and what you are doing...
do you ever get bored sue?
i walked out of work and stared at rows of white flowers for a whole
wonderful minute before i made it to my car. i then sang along to rex
and
drove real fast. i came home and water washed over me and now i am
clean
again.
boy, one day i will start writing in complete sentences and using
capital
letters.
hey sue!
i could do this forever
watch outside!
i meant all i said last night.
love,
i am not a serious person!
and i ate way too many cucumbers and tomatoes!!!
chomp. chomp. chomp.
au revoir!
Subj: white sky
cheerio mate!
"everday it's a getting closer
i know, i know....
hey!
sue! could we live in a bus and travel the west coast, singing "blowin
in
the wind", stopping every time we see wild flowers, and asking all
passerbys
to join us in a drum circle?? please say yes!!!
today we learned about vietnam in my us history since 1960 class.
actually,
"hey hey
his voice was booming (and he is a skinny umbrella carrying guy!) and
he was
so fired up. i think he was once an advisor to the U.S. government.
and
now he is not too keen on U.S. policy.
i want to say absurdly beautiful things to you.
today, i walked home listening to yo la tengo. i was thinking of you
so
yo la tengo is in 6 days.
archer prewitt "white sky"
i made a christmas wish list today:
1.)sue
+, i already have two front teeth.
miss you kiss you like crazy
time to go eat celery.
love!
[Mr. eBay was out selling Cat Power bootlegs on the
Internet -- what a cool guy, huh? I tried to put a stop to this horrible
injustice and it looks like someone ratted me out.]
Subj: Re: cat power
he is not a friend. Subj: n.o. connecting to houston connecting to portland!
i am so so so so excited!!!
i listened to spoon and seam today.
oh yeah!
flight # 1771 arrive Portland,OR 11:06 p.m.
i begin as flight #1647, and then turn into flight #1771 when i hit
houston.
sorry that i arrive so late....it was the deal i had to make with the
vultures so i that could afford the ticket.
what will portland look like at night?
(whenever Heavy D. gets "in the weeds" at work, he yells out, "holy
gotham
city batman!!!")
there is so much hope in my head and heart right now.
sue XXXXX.
love always
(smile.)
Subj: hi
thanks for the update on justin.
i am leaving straight from school tomorrow...
take care
Date:
ers, 17 Mod 2000 15:22:42 -0500 Hope you remember me...I'm the girl in from of you at the
concert...what a wonderful show, the best one so far...I just found out last
week
that I'm 6 weeks pregnant, so I'm honored to say that my baby's first
concert was Pearl Jam...I really would like to get copies of the pictures
you took and I would be more than happy to pay not only for the
processing, but also for your time and trouble, postage, gas, etc....you can
reach me at:
Hope to hear from you soon, Brian.
PS
What did Eddie say to you guys? I didn't quite catch it...
Date:
Wed, 25 Oct 2000 15:38:58 -0400
Hi,
The poster for Sting is currently out of stock .We are expecting it
back in
stock in about 2-3 days. We will be shipping it out to you shortly.
Thanks for your patience.
Date:
Wed, 25 Oct 2000 14:53:34 -0400 (EDT)
Dear Brian,
Thank you for shopping at CDNOW.
To check the status of this order or to make any changes, click or
copy/paste this link into your Web browser:
http://cdnow.com/myorder/otid=23608336 You can also access your Order
History directly from our home page. You have ordered the following items:
Neil Young & Crazy Horse : Ragged Glory (CD)
This will ship via Priority Mail.
Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2001 21:12:40 -0800 (PST) hi dear
and i sent you a reply regarding the first one...let
me know if you didn't get it.
isn't thom cute in the poster!
and he is wearing fag berkinstocks (i do NOT know how
to spell that word b/c i am not a fag!).
bye!
p.s. it is very dangerous that you sent me your email
address. i am way funnier on a computer than in real
life (and cuter!). you are warned.
Date: Fri, 30 Nov 2001 21:09:06 -0800 (PST)
hi lady.
and good fucking luck 2morrow ms. longhorn. i ain't
doing nothing tomorrow after 1:30 p.m. besides
pulling for the "T". i fear Tennessee will lose badly
to yucky Florida. Florida is a swamp and should not
be trusted. but i think that roger clemens university
will pull out a win against da buffaloes of
color-a-do.
i will watch the whole texass game and do my bestest
to help your team out.
prior to the games however, delaney, nathan, and i are
packing into a car to go hit baseballs in the suburbs.
this i mightily look forward to.
i wrote you a funny letter 2day at work. and did you
get the thing i sent to you in a tube in the mail that
could go on a wall?
and how are you?
i will call your ass 2morrow bitch.
and on to the essay....!
not bad. it perfectly answers the lame questions.
and you provide examples and insight and
reasons....which is all they are looking for.
quick!
two gramatical errors (maybe)
1.)you write: "after many stressful weeks, days, and
nights...". i would personally change this to "days,
nights, and weeks" or just to "weeks". it makes it
sequential or simplifies it if you change it to
"weeks". it makes it less wordy...
2.)you write: "It’s an enormous relief and a huge
weight to be lifted from my stressful academic load".
i would throw in an "already" before "stressful
academic load". it makes it read better.
3.)perhaps you could give a little insight into what
your reward system was. you mention a few times (and
it is the key to how you got through the application
process), but there is nothing said of what the
rewards entailed or what they were exactly.
i think you end the essay very well, and in a very
positive manner that would convince any 32 yr old
person who sifts throught these essays that you are
motivated to do well in college. and that you also
answer all the questions to the point, yet are not
over wordy. plus, it has a nice personal tinge to it,
when you describe the anxiety you experience and
dissilusionment (?) when you were initially faced with
the application process. good job lady!
time for me to go say hi to nathan.
and i have NO idea if i was any help. but i was glad
to try. thanks for sending it....you can do so any
time.
hope you are well lilia beaman
heart
good luck tomorrow.
sleater kinney plays here january 11th!!!!
[The
preceding was a work of fiction. No such person as "Brian Thomas Smith"
actually exists. I mean, you didn't really think this guy was for real, did
you...? What a scary thought! Sadly, though, this guy below does exist...]
Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2001 09:49:14 -0700 (PDT)
stay out of my email, stay out of my life.
=====
this is me, brian smith.
i am in your english 3084 class.
i found the comments to be helpful in having us (the
students) try and understand what you wanted us to go
for when writing our papers. even though the
comments weren't directed towards my own paper, i
could still get a sense of what you were saying.
thanks.
bye!
To: brian smith
Subject: Re: first paper comments
Date: Tue, 3 Oct 2000 09:37:43 -0500
>it reminded me of the time sue and i were
> eating donuts and she was like, "let me act out this
> 'mr. show' bit" and I was like, "judy jetson is cute
> for a cartoon person"!!!!!!!!! oh, boy!!! pedro the
> lion is rocking my world!!!!! it is just rock awesome
> (as you would say, my lovely!!!!!)!!!!! i hate my job,
> but i love thurston moore's hair!!!!!
> am 65 and my dick no longer works..we must make art
> and feel good about it or else our collective
> dick/vagina will cease to exist and the only fucking
> we'll get is from bob dylan and all his rock critic
> cronies when they are fucking the holes in our wallets
> that their big business banking and stock brokering
> have left behind.
>
> super big love is shot right through your heart by
>
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To: XXXXX@yahoo.com
Subject: thank you!!!
Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 20:54:13 CDT
sue
Date: 9/17/00 5:28:49 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: Sue
cat mouse spoon
i just got home from work.
took a very nice shower
and am getting ready to start writing.
last night!
our best night yet!
i never get bored. never!
there is always something to do or something new to try out.
that is why this is such a good good life for the likes of us.
do you know what i feel like?
like when you see robert redford when he was in his youthful prime...
or hemingway
or kerouac
or anyone who felt alive and could call it true.
i feel THIS fucking good!!!
ready to drive.
no i will not!
fuck capital letters AND complete sentences. for fools!
what i am writing right now is really really good. it
kind of amazes
me. [Such modesty!]
it is about two working kids. one is in love with a girl. their daily
days. they work on the docks, moving and unloading ships. they live
in a
small town, and have to drive to the city every morning to work. they
are
around twenty years old. the not main character drives an old red
truck. i
think it is set in old america. they hit the city
with the promise of
friday night. but some bad things happen. and i
don't even know this
yet,
but the girl is really the main character. what a test it will be to
write
her!
because there is no end
we shall never end
brian.
madonna's "crazy for you" runs through my head!!!
i want to eat dinner with you and drink milkshakes and laugh at white
people
and pillage fashion stores with your style and divide the land and
shake the
hand of the bad one.
Date: 9/21/00 2:09:30 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: Sue
going faster than a rollercoaster
come what say, do you ever long for
true love from me?"
-buddy holly
possibly the words most often heard out of my mouth (
besides "sue is so
fucking hot!") are "this is the greatest album i have ever heard"
BUT!!
archer prewitt "white sky"
it will wash you till you glow. so beautiful.....
i feel like i am dreaming.
i just got off the tele with the portland AF. and things are
proceeding
like illegal traffic! the "dude" (i imagine the "man" is even cool in
portland....thus, he becomes the "dude") was very encouraging. i am
faxing
them a bunch of stuff and sending them some blood through the mail....
it is the first of many days on vietnam. my teacher is
one rad fuck!
he
must have chirped off 5 protest songs....
lbj
how many kids did you kill today?"
bad.
"i am yours like mad"
i saw sides of buildings that i had never seen, i walked perfectly on
the
veering sides of curbs, my gaze caught up in the limbs of the tallest
trees,
and i think i could feel you.
ira better watch his wife. that's all i'm saying.
2.)sue
3.)sue
4.)carrie brownstein
5.)sue
6.)sue
am i in luck?
brian.
Date: 10/3/00 1:25:07 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: frank_j_s@yahoo.com
i have all positive feedback and am to be trusted.
he is a former friend who i am no longer dealing with and is out to
sour my
reputation.
it almost humored me to read the message that he
wrote to you (and
others).
sadly, there is no way to combat this....[Poor
guy..How will he ever sell bootlegs and make money offa the hard work of
others?]
i assure you i will hold up my end of the deal.
shipping is $3.20 for priority + handling and gas
money and stuff....
i do it to cover my costs.
you can just send $3.20 if you wish...
brian
Date: 10/3/00 1:38:12 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: Sue
i think my pots and pans and toothbrush even know where i will soon be
in
portland!!!!
a cute girl had on red docs, a red and white t shirt, and a purse like
nicole's in front of me in history. i almost had to say "hello".
and i wore my fucking rad death cab t shirt today!!!
plane info!!!
.....
what will sue look like????
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
this is like halloween candy + christmas+ birthday + cindy
williams +
janine
turner +
carrie brownstein + sugary oatmeal + milkshakes + snow + the ocean +
........
i cannot believe that i am going to see you sue!!!!!
jeepers creepers batman!
i walked home from school thinking "the world is what you want it to
be".
and i think this is so true.
i want to watch the city lights with you and watch waves crash and
gulls fly
and cars drive.
i want to be super silly and slurp down sodas!
exploding fireworks!
kerouac in '45
kazu on stage
i am yours.
like a motherfucker.
brian
Date: 10/3/00 1:48:37 PM Central Daylight Time
From: Irahubley
To: "Mom"
he did exactly what i told him not to.
if you tell the military that you are depressed, they WILL put you in a
hospital and keep you there...b/c you are not profitable to their daily
operations. i seriously doubt he could get out now if he wanted to....
i am
worried about him.
i will call and leave a message...
do you know when he will get to go back home???
my plane leaves at 6:30.
i will call you thursday morning to let you know i arrived ok.
i will be at
XXX XXX XXXX
if you need me for any emergencies.
the girls i am staying with are sue and nicole....
if you get this before 8 p.m.....
could you tape the presidential debate for me? i would
greatly
appreciate
it. i want to see how bad they look instead of just reading about
it.
i have to work tonight....
brian
From:
"Sheri Schwarzwalder"
To:
Subject:
PJ
sheri.schwarzwalder@XX.XXXXXX.XX.us
To:
XXXXX@yahoo.com
From:
Movieposter Warehouse
Subject:
Sting out of stock
From:
manager@cdnow.com
To:
XXXXX@yahoo.com
Subject:
CDNOW Order Confirmation
This email is to confirm your order number 23608336.
Allman Brothers Band : Fillmore Concerts (CD)
From: "brian smith"
Subject: Re: you rock!
To: "Lilia: WarriorPrincess"
i just got your other 2 essays plus this one...and am
heading out the door..
i will read them when i return home later
tonight...drunk and musically inspired.
brian
From: "brian smith"
Subject: Re: 1st Essay
To: "Lilia: WarriorPrincess"
i am heading over to nathan's house to go drink wine
and listen to records. he had a bad day and sounded
like he needed some company.
also! do you remember a gal named candise from the
rock n' roll girls camp??? she said she hung out with
you twice...she was in lisa's group. anywho, she is
moving in here next month. she just came over to
finalize everything. i was bragging out loud about
you after you called to her...and she aggreed that you
were a sweetheart.
brian smith
portland
oregon.
From: "Matthew Perpetua"
Subject: listen, you fucker
To: joseph@josephlarkin.com
you are the "arrogant little prick", asshole.
-matthew
"I believe that chaos is the future, and beyond that is freedom.
Confusion is next, and next after that is the truth."