Van Halen’s Cancer #2
From 2001 to 2006, Joseph Larkin wrote the material that made up the one hundred and eighty-one pages of the premier issue of Van Halen’s Cancer. From April of 2006 to May of 2007, our hero cranked out the second issue of Van Halen’s Cancer, which clocks in at a robust two hundred and seventy-one pages. Clearly, young Joseph’s nonexistent sex life isn’t getting in the way of his writing! Anyway, if King Shitbird keeps moving at this pace, he should be finished with the third issue of Van Halen’s Cancer by Christmas and it will probably be one thousand pages long; in the meantime, please enjoy the second cyber-issue of Van Halen’s Cancer, America’s least favorite PDF eZine.
Adult Reviews
Blog entry
Another blog entry
Yet another blog entry
Still yet another blog entry
Review of Adorable Audrey website
Review of Adult Rental website
Review of AEBN website
Review of Alanna the Nympho website
Review of Alison Angel website
Review of All over 30 website
Another review of All over 30 website
Review of Almost Evil Girls website
Review of Amateur Allure website
Review of Andrew Blake website
Review of Apneatic website
Review of Asia Movie Pass website
Review of Asian and Hot website
Review of Asian Chicks White Dicks website
Review of Asian Fever website
Review of Asian 1 on 1 website
Review of Asian Parade website
Review of ATK Exotics website
Review of Babeink website
Review of Bang Bros Network website
Review of Bang Bus website
Review of Barbi’s Slutty Adventures website
Review of Bars and Stripes website
Review of Beauty and the Senior website
Review of Billie’s Bitches website
Review of Blowjob Ninjas website
Review of The Boss XXX website
Review of BrunoB Reloaded website
Review of BunniesClub website
Review of Burning Angel website
Review of Busty Britain website
Review of Cable Guy Sex website
Review of Celebs Caught out website
Review of Celeb Nakedness website
Review of Celebs & Vintage website
Review of Celebs Movies Online website
Review of Chica’s Place website
Another review of Chica’s Place website
Review of Cinema Erotique website
Review of Club Cytherea website
Review of CoCo Exposed website
Review of Cougars in Heat website
Review of Crazy Slutty website
Review of Cute Rain website
Review of DD Girls website
Review of The Dick Suckers website
Review of Dirty101 website
Review of Ebony Max website
Review of 8th Street Latinas website
Review of Faith Exposed website
Review of Female Celebrities website
Review of Football-Babes website
Review of 40SomethingMag.com website
Review of Fuck Confessions website
Review of Fuck for Dollars website
Review of GeekGirlsOnline website
Review of Hardcore Gangstas website
Review of Heavenly Knockers website
Review of Her Sweet Hand website
Review of Hip Hop Meets Porn website
Review of Home Voyeur Video website
Review of Horiental website
Review of Hot Movies website
Review of Housewife Kelly website
Review of Housewife 1 on 1 website
Review of InFocusGirls website
Review of In the Crack website
Review of Jayde website
Review of Jess UK website
Review of Joanna Angel website
Review of Justice Jade website
Review of Karup’s Older Women website
Review of Lazerbunny website
Review of Leia Loves You website
Review of Luna’s Cam website
Review of Man Hunter website
Review of Mask TV website
Review of MC Nudes website
Review of Michelle Aston website
Review of Mike’s Apartment website
Review of M.I.L.F. Gets Fucked website
Review of Minx Addiction website
Another review of Minx Addiction website
Review of Miss Kitty’s Mansion website
Review of Money Talks website
Review of Mr. Skin website
Review of Murder Lily website
Review of My Friend’s Hot Mom website
Review of My Pickup Girls website
Review of My Throbbing Pussy website
Review of Nacho Vidal’s Killer Pussy website
Review of Naughty America website
Review of Old Farts Young Tarts website
Review of 1by-Day website
Another review of 1by-Day website
Review of Orgy Sex Parties website
Review of Oriental Orgy website
Review of Outdoor Backdoor website
Review of Paul Markham Teens website
Review of Peep Voyeur website
Review of Polish Big Boobs website
Review of Porn Oasis website
Review of Pornstar XS website
Review of Porn Week Vacations website
Review of Public Invasion website
Review of Public Nude Sluts website
Review of Rachel Aziani website
Review of Rap Video Auditions website
Review of Razor Dolls website
Review of Reality Kings website
Review of Rebekah Dee website
Review of Revenge Cams website
Review of Rob and Jill website
Review of Samantha Capelli website
Review of Screw website
Review of Sexylette website
Review of Simon Scans website
Review of 6 Buck Lesbians website
Review of Stolen Porn Videos website
Review of Street Ranger website
Review of Summertime M.I.L.F. website
Review of SuperGlam website
Review of Sweet Adri website
Review of TDF Girls website
Review of Teens from Tokyo website
Review of Trinity Morgana website
Review of Twistys website
Review of Vagina from China website
Review of VideoBox website
Second review of VideoBox website
Review of VideosZ website
Review of Voyeur 4 You website
Review of White Ghetto website
Review of World Wide Wives website
Review of Xflix website
Review of Xisty website
Review of Yanks.com website
Review of Yappo website
Review of Zoliboy website
Antigravity Magazine
Review of PJ Harvey’s The Peel Sessions (1991-2004)
Vol.4 #1 (November ‘06) [see pages 27 and 29]
Vol.4 #3 (January ‘07) [see page 27]
Burning Angel
Review of Gabriel’s Horn by The Monkeywrench
Review of Here Come the 123s by They Might be Giants
Review of R.I.P. by Rocket from the Crypt
Review of Sign Here, Here and Here by The Company Band
Chokebore.net
B. Balthazar review
Interview with Chokebore from Pataphysics Research Journal
Another version of same Chokebore interview
Dirty Peter
Reality-Based Mega Porn Site Showdown
Review of DVD download sites
Review of Bang Bros Network website
Review of Discount Reality Sites website
Review of Download Pass website
Review of DVDBox website
Review of Porn Multi Pass website
Review of Reality Porn Pass website
Review of Ten website
Review of VideoHub website
Review of VideosZ website
ManSpace.com
Review of Am I Straight? website
Review of Bi Curiosity website
Review of Boys Casting website
Review of GayVideoBox website
Review of The Guy Site website
Review of Horny Boy website
Review of I Go Both Ways website
Review of The Male Box website
Review of Male.PrivateFeeds website
Review of My Friends’ Feet website
Review of The Net GP website
Review of Oldje website
Review of Perfect Guyz website
Review of Sleeping Men website
Review of Spank This website
Review of Taggaz website
Review of Transsexual Smut website
Neumu
Joseph Larkin’s Fave Albums of 2003
Joseph Larkin’s Fave Albums of 2004
Interview with Mac from Superchunk
Review of Pleasure Club’s The Fugitive Kind
Review of Auf der Maur
Review of Indestructible Object by They Might be Giants
Review of Beauty Pill’s The Unsustainable Lifestyle
Review of Mark Lanegan Band’s Here Comes That Weird Chill EP
Review of Clutch’s Blast Tyrant
Review of Shipwrecked by the Sultans
Review of Sixteen Horsepower’s Olden
Review of Pearl Jam’s Lost Dogs
Review of Paloalto’s Heroes and Villains
Review of Poison the Well’s You Come Before You
Review of Johnny Cash’s Live at Town Hall Party 1958/1959
Review of Tomahawk’s Mit Gas
Review of Soul Brains’ A Bad Brains Reunion Live in San Francisco
Review of Murder City Devils’ R.I.P.
Review of Arab on Radar’s The Stolen Singles
Review of Steel Pole Bath Tub’s Unlistenable
Review of Pleasure Club’s Here Comes the Trick
Pam’s Reviews [please make note of the oh-so-clever pseudonym]
Review of Absolutely Male website
Review of All Porn Sites Pass website
Review of Amateur Jerk off website
Review of Angelique LeClair’s website
Review of Bad Cowboys website
Review of Beauty and Braces website
Review of Boys Collection website
Review of Creamy Facials website
Review of Cumshots ‘n’ Facials website
Review of Do Me Bareback website
Review of First Bi Fuck website
Review of Gay Sex Resort website
Review of Gay Twink Cam website
Review of His First Big Cock website
Review of Horny Papi website
Review of Internally Gay website
Review of I Touch My Pussy website
Review of Japan Boyz website
Review of M.I.L.F. Tease website
Review of Open Your Ass website
Review of Orgy Couple website
Review of Randy Blue website
Review of Spit Swappers website
Review of Suck Me Bitch website
Review of Teen Steam website
Review of Teen X Boys website
Review of VirtuaGuy 2 website
Pataphysics Research Journal
Unchain My Heart: An Uncomfortably Close Look at Alice in Chains’ Dirt
Southern Discomfort
Review of Pearl Jam’s Pearl Jam
Review of Dead Heart Bloom’s Dead Heart Bloom
Interview with B. Balthazar of Chokebore
Interview with Chokebore
Review of Mission of Burma show in Chicago
Review of death metal show in Chicago
Review of Shellac show in New Orleans
Review of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists show in Baton Rouge
Review of Ted Leo and the Pharmacists show in New Orleans
Review of Relapse Records Contamination Tour show in New Orleans
Review of Clutch show in New Orleans
Review of Voodoo Music Experience in New Orleans
Review of Adult Reality Pass website
Paula’s Room
Review of Got Nailed! website
Review of Handjob Adventures website
Review of Happy Hour Girls website
Review of Oldje website
Review of Plain Sluts website
Perfect Sound Forever
Article about The Effigies
Article about New Orleans heavy metal scene
Article about bootleg CDs, which includes interviews with Fugazi and Superchunk
Favorites of 2005 [includes Joseph’s Top Fifteen of 2005]
Article about conservative punks, which includes an interview with a guy from the Misfits/Undead
Article about Steven Jesse Bernstein [also can be found here]
2004 Year in Review Feature [includes Joseph’s Top Ten of 2004]
Planet Climax
Review of Adult Friend Finder website
Review of AEBN website
Review of All Sites Access website
Review of Amateur Allure website
Review of Andi Pink website
Review of Asian Nudes website
Review of Asian 1 on 1 website
Review of Ass Masterpiece website
Review of ATK Exotics website
Review of ATK Galleria website
Review of ATK Natural and Hairy website
Review of Av9898 website
Review of Babes.tv website
Review of Bad Tushy website
Review of Backseat Bangers website
Review of Bang Bros Worldwide website
Review of Bi Archive website
Review of Big Ass Adventure website
Review of Big Cock Teen Addiction website
Review of Big League Facials website
Review of Big Mouthfuls website
Review of Big Sausage Pizza website
Review of Big Tits Round Asses website
Review of Bikini Babes website
Review of Bikini Dream website
Review of Bikini Hookups website
Review of Black Dicks Latin Chicks website
Review of Black Thick Girls website
Review of Blonde Bangers website
Review of Blondes of Porn website
Review of Brutal Dildos website
Review of Busty and Real website
Review of Caged Tushy website
Review of Christine Young website
Review of Club Seventeen website
Review of Cock Brutality website
Review of College Wild Parties website
Review of Couples Seduce Teens website
Review of Cum Fixation website
Review of CumGirls website
Review of Dangerous Dongs website
Review of Danni.com website
Review of Diary of a Nanny website
Review of Dirty Smokers website
Review of Doctor Tushy website
Review of DP Fanatics website
Review of DVDBox website
Review of 18 Interracial website
Review of Extreme Asses website
Review of Extreme Holly website
Review of Felicity Fey website
Review of Female Celebrities website
Review of Femjoy website
Review of First Time Auditions website
Review of For the Girls website
Review of 40 Inch Plus website
Review of Four Finger Club website
Review of 420 Girls website
Review of Gag School website
Review of Gaya Patal website
Review of Giants [sic] Black Meat White Treat website
Review of Girlfriend Handjobs website
Review of Girly Gang Bang website
Review of Glory Hole Girlz website
Review of Her First DP website
Review of Hustler website
Review of InFocusGirls website
Review of In the Crack website
Review of Jenny Reid website
Review of Jim Slip website
Review of Josie Junior website
Review of Karen Dreams website
Review of Katie Fey website
Review of Kristina Fey website
Review of Lez Cuties website
Review of Little Summer website
Review of Lovely Anne website
Review of Lusty Grandmas website
Review of Male Celebrities website
Review of Manga vs. Hentai website
Review of Mark Wolff website
Review of Massive Cocks website
Review of Masturbation Page website
Review of Meat Holes website
Review of Men in Pantyhose website
Review of M.I.L.F. Lessons website
Review of Milton Twins website
Review of Mommy Got Boobs website
Review of Mommy Loves Pussy website
Review of Monsters of Cock website
Review of Mother Daughter Fuck website
Review of Mr. Cameltoe website
Review of Mr. Chew’s Asian Beaver website
Review of My First Sex Teacher website
Review of My Friend’s Hot Mom website
Review of My Naughty Latin Maid website
Review of My Sex Tour website
Review of Nasty Angels website
Review of Naughty Bookworms website
Review of Naughty Office website
Review of Nebraska Coeds website
Review of Neighbor Affair website
Review of NS All Access website
Review of Nubile Ones website
Review of Nylon Passion website
Review of Older 4 Me website
Review of Old Farts Young Tarts website
Review of Only Carla website
Review of Only Melanie website
Review of Only Tease website
Review of Pantyhose TV website
Review of Papi website
Review of Perfect Flex website
Review of Phat Booty Hoes website
Review of Phat White Booty website
Review of Porn Access website
Review of Pornication website
Review of Pornstar Classics website
Review of Pregnant Wishes website
Review of Pride MOV website
Review of Public Flash website
Review of Racks and Blacks website
Review of Randy Blue website
Review of Raven Riley website
Review of Reality Kings website
Review of Retro Raw website
Review of Rodox website
Review of Ron Harris website
Review of Ronni Tuscadero website
Review of Round and Brown website
Review of Round Mound of Ass website
Review of Rubber Doll website
Review of School Bus Chicks website
Review of Screaming O website
Review of Seduced by a Cougar website
Review of She Got Pimped website
Review of Shelby Bell website
Review of Simpson Twins website
Review of 666 Bukkake website
Review of SkinVIP website
Review of Sleep Assault website
Review of Sleeping Tushy website
Review of Smoking Videos website
Review of So Cal Coeds website
Review of Speculum Plays website
Review of Sperm Suckers website
Review of Spread It Wide website
Review of Strapon Lesbians website
Review of Suze Video website
Review of Tawny Peaks website
Review of Teen Dreams website
Review of Teen Hitchhikers website
Review of Teen Topanga website
Review of Tiffany Towers website
Review of Tranny Surprise website
Review of Tug Jobs website
Review of Tushy Lickers website
Review of Tushy Massage website
Review of Tushy School website
Review of UK Roadtrips website
Review of V.I.P. Crew website
Review of Webcams.com website
Review of Wifey’s World website
Review of Wild Fuck Toys website
Review of Wives in Pantyhose website
Review of XL Girls website
Review of XXX Proposal website
Review of Yanks.com website
Short review of Adult Comics Club website
Short review of Adult Rental website
Short review of Amateur Couples website
Short review of Amateur Upskirts website
Short review of Amazing Pass website
Short review of Anal Lick Fest website
Short review of Anna Angel website
Short review of Asha Kumara website
Short review of Asian Parade website
Short review of Aziani website
Short review of Babylon-X website
Short review of BBW Tales website
Short review of The Best POV website
Short review of BFT Girls website
Short review of Big and Slutty website
Short review of Big Tits at Work website
Short review of Big Tits Curvy Asses website
Short review of Big Wet Butts website
Short review of Bi Latin Men website
Short review of Black Creamy Pies website
Short review of Black Motherfuckers website
Short review of Blake Mason website
Short review of Boyfun Collection website
Short review of Boys and Mom website
Short review of Boy Station website
Short review of Broke Straight Boys website
Short review of Bubble Butts Galore website
Short review of Butts and Blacks website
Short review of Catalina Cruz website
Short review of Chaos Men website
Short review of Chase the Hottie website
Short review of Cherry World website
Short review of Christine Mendoza website
Short review of Club Bisexual website
Short review of Cover My Face website
Short review of Crazy XXX 3D World website
Short review of Cum on Jugs website
Short review of Cum Trainer website
Short review of Cuties in Tights website
Short review of Daddy’s Babes website
Short review of Diary of a Nanny website
Short review of Dirty 101 website
Short review of Divine Breasts website
Short review of Doctor Adventures website
Short review of Eromaxx website
Short review of Extreme Kream website
Short review of Extreme Naturals website
Short review of Fassinating website
Short review of Fets.com website
Short review of 15 on 1 website
Short review of Flexy Pussy website
Short review of Flower Tucci website
Short review of Football Babes website
Short review of 4 CFNM website
Short review of Freaks of Cock website
Short review of Fucking the Help website
Short review of Fuck My Melons website
Short review of Furry Girl website
Short review of Gay Asian Amateurs website
Short review of Gigi Lightspeed website
Short review of Girls for Matures website
Short review of Glamour Smokers website
Short review of Good Old XXX website
Short review of Gorgeous Nurses website
Short review of Granny Pussy website
Short review of Granny Tits Movie website
Short review of Guys for Matures website
Short review of Guys Get Fucked website
Short review of Guys Go Crazy website
Short review of Hailey Little website
Short review of Hairy Places website
Short review of The Hairy Site website
Short review of Handjob Harry website
Short review of Hardcore Mature and Young website
Short review of Harris Archives website
Short review of Herself Pics website
Short review of Hidden Showers website
Short review of Hidden Zone website
Short review of Honey Chest website
Short review of Horny Euro Sluts website
Short review of Insane Cock Brothas website
Short review of Interracial.com website
Short review of Jaime Hammer website
Short review of Joon Mali website
Short review of Karup’s Hometown Amateurs website
Short review of Knocked up Nina website
Short review of Large Females website
Short review of LA Strokers website
Short review of Latex Angel website
Short review of Latex by Anna website
Short review of Latexxx Girls website
Short review of Latina Abuse website
Short review of Latina Tranny website
Short review of Lesbians in Latex website
Short review of Lesbian Teen Hunter website
Short review of Lesbian Training website
Short review of Lex POV website
Short review of Lezbo Honeys website
Short review of Lily Koh website
Short review of Limo Patrol website
Short review of Little Lupe website
Short review of Mad Sex Party website
Short review of Man of Muscle website
Short review of Martha’s Girls website
Short review of Mature Facials website
Short review of Meet Audrey website
Short review of Mega Penetrations website
Short review of Miami Boyz website
Short review of M.I.L.F.s Pregnant website
Short review of Miss Luana website
Short review of Misty Anderson website
Short review of Money Talks website
Short review of Mr. Big Dick’s Hot Chicks website
Short review of My Horny Doctors website
Short review of Naughty Indian Girls website
Short review of Next Door Buddies website
Short review of Next Door Male website
Short review of Night Invasion website
Short review of Nylon Zone website
Short review of Old and Young Gangbang website
Short review of Old on Girl website
Short review of 1000 Orgasms website
Short review of Only Swallows website
Short review of Open Air Pleasures website
Short review of Orgyental website
Short review of Panty Amateur website
Short review of Passion.com website
Short review of Pee and Blow website
Short review of Perfect Slave website
Short review of Phat Booty Brazil website
Short review of Phat Booty Hunter website
Short review of Piss Hunters website
Short review of Planet Mandy website
Short review of Plumpest Grannies website
Short review of Poke My Mom website
Short review of Porn 4 Girl website
Short review of Porn Movie Collection website
Short review of Porn Pass for All website
Short review of Porn Stars Like It Big website
Short review of Pregnant Obsession website
Short review of Pure CFNM website
Short review of PVC and Latex website
Short review of Rave Glory Hole website
Short review of Real Hot Indian Girls website
Short review of Real Orgasm Videos website
Short review of Red Handed Porn website
Short review of Retro Ramming website
Short review of Retro Raunch website
Short review of Rookie Babe website
Short review of Ryan Lebar website
Short review of Scar 13 website
Short review of Seduced by a Cougar website
Short review of Sexy Round Asses website
Short review of Sharing My Wife website
Short review of Shemale Club website
Short review of Shemale Tushy website
Short review of Shocking Celeb Video website
Short review of Smoking Freaks website
Short review of Smoking Video Pass website
Short review of Smooth Snatches website
Short review of Spanked and Abused website
Short review of Strokejobs 101 website
Short review of Swank Magazine Online website
Short review of Sybian Solos website
Short review of Teenage Whores website
Short review of Teens Love Old Men website
Short review of Texas Twins website
Short review of Throated website
Short review of Trampling World website
Short review of Tranny Perverts website
Short review of Tussinee website
Short review of 2 Crazy Bitches website
Short review of Upskirt Collection website
Short review of Upskirts website
Short review of Vintage Pics website
Short review of Vintage Vagina website
Short review of Whore Wagon website
Short review of XXX at Work website
Short review of Young Models website
Short review of Young Throats website
Rocket-Fuel
Review of Atombombpocketknife’s God Save the ABPK
Review of Totally Blind Drunk Drivers’ The Breast off
Review of Bloodlet’s Three Humid Nights in the Cypress Trees
Review of Goddamn Gentlemen’s Sex-Caliber Horsepower
75 or Less
Review of Weezer’s Blue Album (Deluxe Edition)
Review of Delirium Cordia by Fantomas
Trouser Press
The Bronx bio
Hot Snakes bio
P.W. Long bio
The Murder City Devils bio
Where Y’at
Review of Petra Haden’s Petra Haden Sings: The Who Sell out
Review of Sleater-Kinney’s The Woods
Your Flesh
Review of Boredoms’ Super Roots 9
Review of Constantines’ Kensington Heights
Review of Creature with the Atom Brain’s I Am the Golden Gate Bridge
Review of Goliath Bird Eater’s Blood Venus
Review of The Melvins’ Nude with Boots
Review of Mission of Burma’s The Horrible Truth About Burma, Signals, Calls, and Marches and Vs.
Review of The Monkeywrench’s Gabriel’s Horn
Review of The Night Marchers’ See You in Magic
Review of Mike Patton’s A Perfect Place
Review of Rocket from the Crypt’s R.I.P.
Review of The Sword’s Gods of the Earth
Review of Weezer’s Red Album